We all have a history and carry some baggage. I am talking about money baggage. Many things helped shape our baggage: our parents, our parents’ jobs, their parents’ history with money, our first jobs, our economic condition, etc. Face it, we all look at money in different ways.
So what if you, or your spouse, agonize and stress over your money and the markets? Do you know anyone like that? There is a couple that we work with that has this issue. He is the worrier. Every morning the first thing he pulls up is his portfolio. After coffee he digs into his financial plan. Then he comes the latest market news. Repeat this 5-10 times a day. For years, his wife has not understood his obsessive behavior. She sees it as unneeded stress that carries over into their relationship…until they both figured out what kind of money baggage they had.
You see, if you break things down to the simplest level, we typically have a dominant Money Mind®. At our firm we have every client take a short quiz to help us determine what their Money Mind® is. The three different ways we think about money are:
So, back to the couple with a Fear based husband. I was visiting with his wife after they had completed the quiz that determined that he was Fear dominant and she was Commitment. She shared with me that for the first time in her life she now understood his obsession. He was wired that way and it was not really a fault of his but a need and desire to take care of the two of them in the best way possible. She now saw the good that a fear based person can bring to the stability of a home. She still gets a little annoyed when the morning coffee conversation steers toward stocks and bonds, but she has an easier time giggling at that fear based person drinking coffee with her and admits to having a little comfort level that he is actually looking out for her future.
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